I DANCED WITH FEAR

Guess what? i didn't run this time

Source:Pinterest

Before you judge this title, hear me out

As a child, I have been in a dancing competition more than twice, before the dance challenge start, the MC ( master of ceremony) usually announce the gift the winner get and that sparks some motivation for the dancers, immediately the DJ starts the music, the dance floor get hit with different moves, only if the floor could speak. one time i was given a ridiculous gift for emerging as second runner up, despite the gift being funny, i was so happy to get something.

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Enough of Childhood

If there’s anything that has taken a lot from me, without trying hard would be Fear and i don’t want to sugarcoat these because i still have a lot of regret for not doing what i was suppose to do.

I wish i could turn the hand of the clock.

One time during ASUU strike, i got a job but i quit two weeks later because i was told that i would be presenting some stuff with my boss and colleagues in the same room, i convinced myself that i wasn’t ready and would embarrass myself. that’s how bad Fear held me captive.(we read, we don’t judge)

Last week, i got invited to a proofreading and editors program, a day before the program i was second guessing again, but on the D-day, i woke up prepare as ever, did a little Ted-Talk with myself, got into the room and met different kind of people, during the introduction i got to know that i was the only one who studied science there(clock it).

I met Gen-Z (more than 5) and also people who had gone far in academics( a woman who happens to be a lecturer and also a deputy vice chancellor of a particular school) and many other great people.

I asked question twice, something i barely do while in secondary school and Uni.(this is a big feat for me)

I really learnt a lot that day, people were sharing knowledge.(imagine if i had let fear creep in)

The training session began and you could see that everyone in the room had something upstairs (brilliant minds) and nobody was trying to prove a point because we were all there to learn.

That day, i got home feeling like a winner, yes i was

But as first, it felt like Fear and i were in a dance battle, this time i won.

it’s very ok when fear comes, but when it lingers too much it will want to dominate over you.

I see fear as a person in a dance battle with me (a partner i did not ask for) but with the sub consciousness that we are both aiming for the same prize, and only one of us get to win. it’s either i win or lose.

If I win, I grow
If I don’t, I live with regret

And I’m tired of regret.

So every day, I remind myself, I can do it.
Sometimes I still doubt myself, but others have done it.

I won’t be the first.

And I definitely won’t be the last.

Fear spoke

This time, I listened

but I didn’t obey.

I look in the mirror daily, and affirm to myself that i can do it, regardless of the moves(whispers) from Fear.

So, dance with fear, but with the strong belief that you will win.

Back then, I danced for prizes on a stage. Now I realize life has been another stage all along and i have to give it all it takes.

As i step into each stage, i remind myself of this truth:

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

See you next time

Jochebed 💜

What has fear stopped you from doing? I’m in the comment section.

And if this spoke to you, share it with someone who needs it